Clear is kind.”
This is more than a motto for me—it is a professional compass.
In schools, we work in complex ecosystems. There are students, teachers, leaders, parents, systems, policies, emotions, deadlines, and constant change. In such environments, clarity is not optional. It is an ethical responsibility. And when clarity is missing, the impact is rarely neutral—it is often harmful.
Identifying the Problem: When Niceness Replaces Kindness
In educational settings, we often confuse being nice with being kind.
Niceness tends to prioritize comfort:
- avoiding difficult conversations
- softening or withholding feedback
- delaying important messages
- staying silent “to protect feelings”
Kindness, on the other hand, prioritizes care, growth, and respect.
I was reminded of this distinction by Trevor Noah, who explains that niceness and kindness are not the same thing. Niceness often protects the person speaking. Kindness serves the person receiving.
In schools, niceness often shows up as lack of clarity. And that lack of clarity is rarely kind.
Analyzing the Impact: What Lack of Clarity Really Does
When we do not share important information with colleagues, students, or families, several things happen:
- Agency is removed – people cannot act on information they do not have
- Choice is denied – opportunities to respond or improve disappear
- Engagement weakens – people disengage when decisions happen around them
- Risk increases – small issues grow into larger ones
Letting someone go about their day unaware of a problem is not kind. It can lead to embarrassment, loss of trust, or preventable failure later.
Even more concerning is when everyone knows there is an issue except the person affected. That is where professionalism quietly erodes.
Where Toxic Cultures Begin
Toxic school cultures rarely start with conflict.
They start with silence.
- “Let’s not say anything.”
- “It’s awkward.”
- “Someone else will tell them.”
Over time, this creates mistrust, resentment, and emotional distance.
We often tell students “sharing is caring.”
The same applies to adults.
Not sharing critical information is not caring—and therefore not kind.
Directness as a Form of Respect
One aspect of Scandinavian professional culture that I deeply value is directness. It is often misunderstood as cold or blunt, but it is deeply rooted in respect.
Being direct communicates:
- I trust you with the truth
- I respect your professionalism
- I want you to succeed
Addressing an issue early—clearly and calmly—is one of the most supportive actions we can take as educators and leaders.
Clarity Requires Careful Delivery
Clarity does not mean harshness.
How we communicate matters just as much as what we communicate. Kind clarity is:
- timely
- specific
- solution-focused
- delivered with empathy
Tone matters. Intent matters. Support matters.
Being clear with care builds trust. Being silent erodes it.
The Illusion of Polite Avoidance
While watching Fargo, the idea of “Minnesota Nice” stood out—politeness taken so far that honesty disappears.
In schools, this kind of politeness does not protect people. It isolates them. And it often signals that comfort has been chosen over care.
Advice to Educators and Leaders
If there is one professional habit worth cultivating, it is this:
- Say things early
- Say them clearly
- Say them respectfully
- Say them because you care
Clarity is not confrontation.
Directness is not disrespect.
Honesty is not unkind.
A Final Reflection
Every day in education, we make small choices:
- to clarify or to avoid
- to speak up or stay silent
- to choose comfort or courage
Those choices shape our schools far more than any policy document.
So I return to the principle that guides my work:
Clear is kind.
And in schools—
not clear is unkind.
Ramazan Dicle 